Today's the day

We are getting ready to leave for the dr.'s office to find out all the details of my diagnosis of cervical cancer. I already know that I am getting a hysterectomy but that is it. I am so nervous, I could throw up. I wish I knew a better way to handle all of this. I slept last night but had terrible dreams. I am sure if they were analyzed, it would say a lot about how I am feeling.

I can't help but think of the worse case scenario. Everything I have read so far says stay positive. How do people do that when you just don't know??? I am trying, I really am.

I should note that everything was fine... well, as fine as could be considering I had stage 1 cervical cancer.  They were able to do the hysterectomy and the pathology came back that the cancer was only micro-invasive.  It would have been better if it had been completely contained within the cervix but micro-invasive is the next best.  I did not have to do any chemo or radiation.  I just have to have follow ups with my oncologist every 3-4 months.  

Life changes in an instant

I went back and saw that I never published this draft. This was my very first post and the reason I started this blog. Luckily, so far, everything has turned out well and I can capture memories on here for a long time to come...

I am starting this blog for my daughters, so they might know me and themselves through my eyes. When people tell you that your life can change in an instant - boy o' boy, they aren't kidding. Today I got the news that I have cervical cancer. I don't know any more than that, but I feel like that was more than enough information for one day. I have no idea how severe it is or what my treatment will be other than a hysterectomy. All of this happens in less than three months after giving birth to my precious third daughter, Piper Jane.

We go to see the doctor tomorrow morning. I don't even know what to expect. I have done my best to research the type of cancer I have online, but without knowing more information, I haven't been able to get very far. I wish I even knew enough to ask some intelligent questions tomorrow, but I don't. Right now, all of my knowledge about the subject will come from the doctor. Luckily, he is my long time physician and friend. I can only imagine that this is going to be a difficult meeting for him tomorrow as well. My husband, Mark, is going with me.

I feel so exhausted just from processing the news all day long. I wish I could climb in bed and not come out for a very long time. I have not told my parents yet. I don't want to mention anything to them before I know more.